I.4. Beks Roen

Beks Roen on Queer Fantasy & Shakespeare. beksroen.org

theCalebClark.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

So you just said you were in ten to eleven states last year?

SPEAKER_02 0:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Tell me about that. What what happened?

SPEAKER_02 0:07

Um yeah. So I when I started working in the mini MFA with you, I was actually like headed into doing Romeo and Juliet at Ohio Shakespeare Festival. So that was state number one, um, which was super fun. Um and then I headed into um I was the understudy for gender play, which was a one-person show um that uh I had started at Indie Shakes in Indiana and in Indianapolis, um, which like was the second half of overlap with the mini MFA. Yes, I remember yeah, and that was that was really interesting because as we started the first time we did an understudy run for that, um, was one of the moments where I was like, oh dang, like this detail stuff really freaking works because we were we were doing the understudy run, and the director like we finished the run, and the director was like, Hey, how old are you? And I told her, and they were like, What did they say? Something along the lines of like so skilled for one so young, and then just like walked off.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

What a what a Gandalf thing to say.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

And and Ohio Shakespeare was really fun because our Romeo um is also from U Houston and was like, so he would and we were in the actor house together, so I would come out of our coaching zooms and would be like working on whatever the homework I was working on, and he'd be like, What'd you cover today?

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Ah, flashbacks.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

Yes, yeah, the one that he got because when I was working on the the character journal, he was like, Yeah, I'm not gonna say anything until you're done with it. He like refused to give me any spoilers about like what was ahead.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

Thank you. Thank you, friend. I appreciate you for not stealing their learning. Um Yeah, I remember Jack threw those away in front of us. Uh we were all like That's what Lloyd said is he was like, Yeah, that yeah, he was like he collected them and we were like, okay, and it we you know, you scramble to get it done, and then he just walked over to the trash and he threw them away. He was like, What do you remember? And we were all like, What? Okay, so Ohio and then what'd you say? India, Indianapolis?

SPEAKER_02 2:30

Well, then Indian, yeah, then Indianapolis for a gender play, which then when I got there found out that I wasn't just understudying it for that one thing, it was actually going on a tour. And so there were a couple stops that uh was like really, really small team of basically like the producer, the actor playwright, and like one other person. Um, but at the end of the loop was at Actors Theater of Louisville, and they wanted to reunite the whole team, so I got to go to Actors Theater of Louisville, which was so fun. Very cool. Um, it was so nice to be in like my own little apartment within walking distance of the theater and just be like, I have a two-minute walk to get to work. That's awesome. They were so nice, and that my producer brain kicked in there because um we were talking a lot with like the radical hospitality team because the show had like more audience engagement, and there were like costumes that the audience could wear and stuff, and so um there was just more interfacing with their with their um radical hospitality team in front of house than like some other shows just because of how much um how many options there were for the audience to to participate. Um and I was like, this is a really cool like team and what they do and like you know, coordinating the actor housing and helping with like um like sensory things for like because there were like a lot of like dance lights and loud music and stuff in the show. Um so that was really cool. Um and I got to go see some of Kentucky Shakespeare's, which I love getting to go see their shows while I'm in Louisville. So it was fun to go say hi to some active friends that I'd met a couple years ago. Um and then okay, so that was huh. Oh, between those two tour stops was state number three, which wasn't for a show, but it was my private training for um stage combat teacher training with dueling arts. So I was out in California for a week doing that, and then did actors theater of Louville, and then so that would have been made of June. So then end of June, I was back at home, and then July I was in Missouri doing my TA hours for teacher training um with dueling arts. So I was one of the TAs for the level one like national workshop, um, which was really fun. We had a mix of teachers and students in the in the um in the student group. So we had like like a dance teacher and like a couple of theater teachers, so like not even all of the educators were coming from necessarily an acting background, which was really, really fun to work with. And also they were also very sweet. And um I had some really good conversations with some of the educators about like they were like, no, you give like really helpful notes, and you're not you you like you pace them out really well, you're never like overwhelming anybody with too much information, which was my first concern. Like, I know how excited I get about stage combat and I want to tell you all the things.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

Yes. Um not doing that as a teacher is hard.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

Yeah, yeah. So it was some really, really helpful feedback about like, no, you have a really good pace, you have a good, like uh one of them was like, you have like a really steady, like I got you kind of energy. And I was like, I think the fur that's the first time someone has described me as like steady.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

No, that's accurate. That's accurate. I got you energy is pretty is nice, is is accurate. There's a warmth to it. Yeah, it does it like I imagine that if I'm teaching somebody I imagine that the foundation they feel like they're standing on is like hard rock and earth.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

And it's not gonna go anywhere, but it's not exactly soft. I think the foundation you probably teach with probably feels more like you know, one of those like big circle wooden chairs that has like the mattress on top of it and it kind of can slide in its pocket.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

That sounds so fun.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

I think that that's yeah. Yeah, there's a foundation to it, but it's also like we can lay here. Like we feel comfortable resting, if that makes sense. I was just thinking, I had a chair like that when I was a kid, but I feel like yeah, there's a fo there's probably like a foundation and then a mattress on top of it, which I could probably do more of what I teach is have moments of mattressing. Sorry, continue. That's really that's really nice. I think that's cool that they said that.

SPEAKER_02 7:23

Yeah, yeah, I was I was really grateful to have because like the training as an actor teacher, or as a as an actor teacher, as an actor combatant, oh no, hold on, um, like most of the the actor combatant cohorts that I had been in had been like mostly mostly actor background people, like, and so it was really fun as a TA and as a like an emerging teacher to have like that mix of some people who had education experience and then like people very close to my age or like a little younger who were still like in college or shortly out of. Um because it was yeah, it was and it was a a good a good group um as well. And uh, and the two head instructors were so freaking nice and were like pulling the TAs aside to be like, uh, okay, so like here's how we've planned the lessons and why, and here's how we're adapting the curriculum because of how yesterday went and stuff. And so, like, they gave us so many resources on like opening up teacher brain for us to see how teacher brain worked for each of them similarly and differently. So that was really cool.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

Um what's the what's the most surprising thing you learned about teacher brain?

SPEAKER_02 8:48

Uh um I think for the for that particular group, I think the thing that surprised me most was that like it was it was okay to like open that up to the to the class, especially given the composition that we had of there were so many educators, um was there there was never like a problem with being like getting a little off track and be and starting to explain why we were teaching something and then being like, oh wait, hang on, okay, are we all still Are we all still on the same page? Yeah, okay, cool. Um and those two the Eric and Lauren really modeled like just a really healthy ways of like being okay with kind of going off on the rabbit trail and then like getting back on track and being like, yeah, okay, we're gonna we're going with the flow here. We don't have to stick like perfectly to our bullet list. Um because we never got behind or anything, even with all of the the little detours, which is much more how I communicate anyway, is I'm pulling in all of these things based on what I'm seeing in the in the room and what's reminding me of what. And so it was nice to see that, like, yeah, that's a perfectly viable like teaching approach.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

Yeah, I get pulled off easily. I sometimes get in trouble. If you know what to say, you'll wreck an hour and I'll be like, shit. I had things to get done and I didn't get them done. I used to do that in in grad school. Sometimes, sometimes when like the class would be like, nobody wants to do their scene today. It's like if we can find the right thing to say to him, he will monologue for a while thinking that we don't understand this thing. And we can burn like an hour and a half of class. We're just exhausted.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

Yeah, so TA, that was July. And then basically I got home from that shortly after that. It wasn't that much, I was not at home for very long, and I got a like an SOS call from Ohio Shakespeare, and they they blasted it out to all of their company members of just like, hey, um, we need a crew person for King Lear in like two days. Um, because like I guess somebody something had happened and somebody had fallen through or something. I don't know the specifics, but they were like, Can anybody be here in two days? And I like talked with my parents and was like, yeah, I could be there. So I went back to Ohio um to do back to outdoor Shakespeare, which was oh, so good. Um so I was on crew, which was fun because I was getting to work with um the person who had been my stage manager for RJ at Ohio Shake. So it was fun because it was like getting to meet some new people and like re-reconnect with some of the RNJ folks. Um and my my two big jobs on crew, like aside from like setup and stuff, oh my gosh, we had to they had this giant throne that um would get carried in from the back of the house, but then it would get dropped off backstage. So like it was my and Ashley's job to like reset it at the back of the house. This thing was big enough that like the the the six-foot guys that had to carry it in, it was pushing the edge of their wingspan to be able to carry it on the like carry bars, and so like you have me and like Ash, who was not much bigger than me, go and like stretched as far as we can trying to hold this thing.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Was it super heavy?

SPEAKER_02 12:44

It was, I mean, it was solid wood, and it was taller than me. So like it was it wasn't light, it but like it was more just the the angle of like I am at my fingertips edge that was like my forearm's gotta work out.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

It wasn't light, but yeah, my two big jobs there were um I was on I was on blood work for um for Edmund when he cuts his arm at the beginning. Um and so we gosh, we went through so many different like okay, can we can we do it out of the original bottle? Okay, no, that didn't work. Okay, now the bottle's empty, so now we have to find a syringe. And we went through like so many different like toddler like medicine syringes trying to get something that would work because I had like half a second to because Lloyd, who was our Romeo, so I got to see Lloyd again, um, would literally like sprint into he didn't even make it all the way like backstage, he would just sprint off. I would hit his arm as quick as I could, and then he would sprint back on stage. So it was like that was like the highest like moment. Um and then they had actual like water effects, they rigged a sprinkler system for the storm, and so then it was my and the um stage manager's job to use an entire rubber made tote of microfiber towels to get all the water off the stage during intermission so they can do the second half of the show without slipping. It looked so neat because like by the time we would hit that point in the show, we were down in like a little lagoon surrounded by some trees. So, like, even though we're like in the Midwest late summer, so the sun's still out, it was low enough in the sky that like we were pretty much already shadowed by that point, and it was like pushing dark. Um, so the stage lights would like catch the mist over the top of the stage. It looked so cool. That was so much fun. Um, those were like the two the two big things. So I was mostly just like hanging out backstage and like making sure everyone's like, hey, hydrated, everybody has ice towels and stuff, helping Edgar, you know, with armor and stuff. And yeah, that was so fun. I love that group. It was it was really good to like get to go back and and work with them a second time. Um because it was sort of a happy surprise of just like sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

Do you know if you're going out there this summer?

SPEAKER_02 15:24

I am I am not because I am gonna be out in New Hampshire with advice to the players playing an ace Romeo.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

I bet you're excited.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Yeah, oh my goodness. Um, yeah, I've actually been I've been working with the the director Sarah and um and Lucy uh out there. Um they got a last minute like chance to I guess put an article about the show in the Shakespeare Theater Association's Kordo magazine. Um and so we've been working on this is how I I'm so so excited to work with with Sarah because she emailed me and was like, absolutely no pressure because this is very last minute. Um but she was like, I wanted to put something in the the blurb about like, hey, like we're specifically looking at like an ace a row interpretation of Romeo, but her words were um because I am not experienced with speaking to this identity and it's not one that I hold, I wanted to get your approval on it so that I didn't mess anything up.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

So for those who might not know, what does that mean?

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Yeah, so um ace is short for asexual, so anybody who has a different experience to sexual attraction or not any experience, um, they don't have any sexual attraction. So it can be contextual, it can fluctuate. Um, and then a ro, a ro um is short for aromantic, which is a similar experience with romantic attraction. So I identify as both asexual and aromantic. Um and I have been running my mouth on Instagram for pushing years at this point about how many ace and a ro resonances I see in Shakespeare characters. Romeo was one of them. Um, and so, like, actually, while I was out at Ohio Shakespeare for King Lear, I got the email from Sarah and Lucy going, hey, we would love to have a a conversation with you about what that could look like, because I have not seen an ace or arrow Romeo, and I'm interested in staging that, and we want you to do it.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

What it what about specifically about Romeo makes you go, I would love to do that.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

Yeah, uh the the text that Romeo has, and I actually like just recently like went back through and I color code highlighted all of Romeo's lines that stuck out to me as either ace or a row. Um the a lot of his language is so visual and image-based, um, that it reads very much to me as aesthetic attraction, which is what high school me thought everybody was talking about when they were like, oh, so-and-so is hot. I was like, oh, you like like the way they look and and want to be around that.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

And like that's that's where it ends, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

Yeah, it was just like I like being in the presence of how I define beauty and I want to stick around that. Turns out that's not what people meant. Um but I see Romeo in like a very similar situation of like he's trying to use the language that he has to describe the kind of like attraction uh that he's experiencing, and it's just not quite fitting, which is why he talks for so long. Just like, no, it's like but that but that's not but it's like this.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

What do you think it does to the play?

SPEAKER_02 19:19

I think it uh one of the things we've talked I've talked with Sarah about is that like I think it allows it allows Romeo to be so awkward. And I think that helps the play be more relatable in that it like de-inevitabilizes like the the romance structure of like this is the greatest romance story ever told. And it's like no, it's it's two teenagers who are trying to figure out how to words and relationships and what does that mean? What are we what are we actually trying to get to? And and you know, I'm I'm very excited because um I have yet to meet the actor playing Juliet, but from the talks I've had with Sarah, it sounds like we're gonna get to do a really cool exploration of what an ace aloe, so aloe being the the opposite end of the spectrum, um, so aligning with the norms of sexual attraction or romantic attraction. Um because it sounds like uh the Juliet actor is is coming not with an ace or a rope perspective for Juliet, which is going to be a really cool way to explore what that ace aloe relationship can look like. Because there's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of people who are are in those sort of mixed relationships, and um it's it's something that I've read about from some of the ace and and aero educators that I follow. Um so I'm really excited to like see how that works. Like the the dance, the initial meeting scene is like one that I'm like particularly interested in figuring out and just like experimenting with what does it look like if from what what does what awkwardness gets highlighted like from the get-go? It's gonna be so much fun. I have so many questions.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

That's very exciting.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

Yeah, this will be all my first time like actually getting to really dig into like staged intimacy as well, because I have somehow managed to kind of dodge it this far.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Even like playing Are you slipping it on purpose? That's good.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

Okay. Initially, like, especially because like one of the first like in high school, like the first play that I did in high school, I was um in the crucible. And it the we'll we'll just say that there were no intimacy guardrails for that show at all.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

Wait, in high school? Yeah. We call that a lead I've seen sons when they've got eyes up with Coach Clark. So, how is intimacy gonna work in this relationship?

SPEAKER_02 22:19

More questions than anything right now. Um, and I did one of one of the intimacy directors that I worked with in college on a show connected me with someone who I'm gonna be talking with about like I have questions. Um just for like me specifically being the ace person in the room and specifically being someone who like sits way more on the like sex-repulsed end of the ace spectrum. With with my aromantic identity, it's just more of just a like, eh. Um like, I'm probably not gonna clock it, um, but I'm also not like pushed away from it, um, as opposed to like with my asexual identity, I'm far more on the repulsed end of like there have been times where like we're watching a movie with friends and I'll full go get a snack, like I'll leave the room during an intimate scene and come back. Nothing that's plot relevant to me is happening in the next at least 30 seconds. Like, but yeah, I have managed to like just because I tend to read as more of the chaos goblin type. Um, I was getting stuck into more of like the Mercutios and things that it was like I had a little more freedom to like, you know. Um, yeah, I'm like most of the roles that I got in college just like flat didn't have any, you know, if they had any movement requirements, it was probably a fight. Like because my reputation got around very quickly that like I was the fight person. Um and and even even like as an actor teacher playing Romeo because because of of recency to COVID and because of um you know, just like being in different schools every week and changing teaching partners so often, we just did like a placeholder for the Romeo and Juliet Kiss. Um just because it was like we're in so many schools, we're the yeah, like so even though I played Romeo for a whole school year, like there was not any staged intimacy in that because of the the way that the school tour was functioned.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

So, like takes the kids out anyway.

SPEAKER_02 24:37

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

They immediately stopped watching the play, and they're like, they're kissing!

SPEAKER_02 24:41

Ah yeah, yeah. And so, like, we had fun playing up the like, okay, this is what this is. So we got and we got to teach them a little bit about like this is like a placeholder that we use in staged intimacy for this. We got to like give them a little like this is uh a stage tool for staged intimacy. Um, and and then we just kept moving, and we you know, because we're focused on a different part of the scene anyway, and you know, so yeah, this will be my first time like actually like doing a role that requires some staged intimacy, but I feel very supported by the team already that um they're that like a director Sarah and I are already talking about like does it have to be what everybody expects? What can we play with? What can we adjust? You know, what does um, you know, the the two moments that are front in my brain are when they meet, because the text is the text.

SPEAKER_00 25:46

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

Um, and I'm like, I think one of the things that I've talked to her about, like, I want to try is like, okay, you know, obviously the text says, you know, smooth out rough touch with a tender kiss. And there are there are two mentions of kisses in the act. Kiss by the book. Kiss by the book. So it's like, okay, what does what does that look like? Does Romeo just like panic when he realizes that like, oh, she's uh, and then like just kisses her hand and just like panics. And then the second moment that's like front of our brains is like, what does um the it is the lark, the the herald of the morn scene look like? Yeah, I don't know. Because we are coming at it with that ace aloe mix of like there's there's a lot of relationship negotiation that can go into that. And so it's like, okay, what you know, how does that sit in each Romeo and Juliet's bodies of like, you know, did they get what they want, did they not? Was it awkward? How awkward was it rather than was it awkward? You know, like well, but that okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:59

I have a tangent. The relationship you're talking about is so much closer to the play than the 20-year-old romance stories we watch. Have the whole point is them trying to figure it out together. And I also don't think it's the greatest romance story ever told. I don't think that's the point of the play. Right, it's not I think it's I it's a tragedy. Like I I think it's much more about the parents than it is the kids.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

That's and that's the exciting thing, is like the Sarah's like wanting to put like looking at love in the larger context of like not focusing on on Romeo and Juliet, but like focusing on like Tybalt's love and the parents and like how the and the prince's love and how all of these different people are you know how their care for one another is pushed and pulled and twisted and pushed to extremes, and uh you know, and and so it's like okay, great, by d by like by allowing Romeo and Juliet to just be awkward teens, like we're able to open and and focus on the larger story that's going on rather than just these two characters.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

Yeah, and I think you kissed by the book is awesome. Meaning, like the kiss shouldn't be great. You kissed by the book is that's not getting in it. You know what I mean? And then if Romeo is that makes so much perfect sense, or that makes so much sense because it's like let me show you how this goes.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

When do you when do you go out to do that?

SPEAKER_02 28:46

July, yeah. So the um and then yeah, we have two weeks of rehearsals and then um two weeks of shows in August. We close on August 10th. Congratulations. I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

I bet you are. Um You have a company?

SPEAKER_02 29:04

Yeah. So I got yes, I got a grant to I got a I got a grant from my local, my state's arts commission, um, to start a production company. So um taking some inspiration from like how National Theater and like Stratford to like put the on-demand recordings of their of their productions up. So um still working like in an area that does not have a lot of professional work, but has a lot of theater students uh who are very interested in getting some professional credits. Um so yeah, so I'm I'm working on it's called Broguish Goblin Stories because I was like, that's that tracks with my energy very much.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

It does. As you cackle. So what what's the why did you why did you start this?

SPEAKER_02 30:11

Yeah, um, I had self-produced a little bit here and there um in the last couple years and had managed to pay everybody $20 an hour without charging for tickets every single time. Yeah. Just on like individual people donating. Um, but we were running into some sticky points with like nonprofit status and being able to like partner with like state schools and groups that were like non-religious affiliated, and also nonprofit status and being queer-led, specifically trans-led, is shall we say sticky right now?

SPEAKER_01 30:56

Uh no, we shouldn't. We should say it's fucking insane.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

What's happening is what we should say.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

So we're we're pivoting the the part that's that's the non-profit to doing more of like um exploring what uh what a like theater church, and I'm using church very loosely, um, could look like um to less of a like not doing Bible stories on stage or anything, but like a weekly space to use theater to process sorrow and work on grieving process and healing and trauma and you know learning co-regulation skills for your nervous system, but using theater. Um, because that is something that there are grants that we qualify for.

SPEAKER_01 31:52

Um that is essential right now. Yeah. Specifically for the group you're servicing.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

Mm-hmm. Yeah, so we have that kind of running on a separate track, um on like a very like shoestring budget kind of situation. But I still wanted to do like full productions. Um, because I've been making a list of like I want to play an ace Mercutio because I want to figure like I want to try it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

I want to play Arthur and besides Romeo who and Mercutio, besides that play, what what are some other what is um Alphidias from Coriolanus is fascinating to me.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

Also, Coriolanus um as a trans person would be interesting just because of his hesitance around showing his scars, I think is fascinating. Um, and and could have some and also the way he interacts with his wife, I'm like that could read as an ace aloe relationship that's maybe not working so well. Um Macbeth as a trans person, I think could be fascinating, especially if you have also McDuff as a trans person and looking at two different approaches to masculinity, and um I think that could be fascinating.

SPEAKER_00 33:19

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 33:20

Um what else is on my list? I want to do I want to do Time and of Athens because I saw it on Stratford Festival's platform and I'm very curious. Um specifically looking at it as um I read it less as a like, oh, people are terrible, which is what I've been told about the play was like, oh, rich guy like gives all this stuff away and then his friends all leave him hanging and he hates everybody and dies. But like watching it, they Stratford like did a modern um setting for it, which I think helped. Um and I it it could be very interesting. There's a couple characters in that that have some ace resonances and like are also kind of wrapped up in like a cautionary tale against like being addicted to opulence and mistaking opulence for generosity and the difference. Um yeah, so I have a lot of questions around that one because I'm I'm more new to that play, but I think it could be interesting. Um I'm trying to think of which other ones. Oh, and then um MuchAdoo, the one I usually talk about. Um Muchadoo with Benedict and Beatrice both being Aero Ace. Because I mean I would rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me. Like when I saw Muchadoo for the first time, I had not yet figured out that I was Aero Ace. Um, and I was hundred percent with particularly Beatrice, um until the second half of the book, and then I got so mad because I was picking up so much on the ace and arrow resonances, um, and it wouldn't be several years until I found um Dr. Liza Blake's work on Muchadoo and the Ace and Aero resonances in those two characters. Um but like 16 or 17 or how old I was when I first saw Much Adoo, like um high school-aged me was like just like had the reaction of like this feels like a backtrack of all of the character work we've been establishing for Beatrice in the first half of this play. Um and and and then I found Dr. Blake, who like was like, yeah, no, that that could totally be. They both read very strongly, um as having some ace and arrow resonances, um, especially if you use the folio version of the text, which I have not seen performed. I've seen seven different productions of Machidoo at this point, and they all use the quarto ending, which is where Benedict uh at the end when they like have the love letters, and um their Beatrice and Benedict are arguing about like, oh, I don't love you no more than reason, and then um Benedict is like uh peace, I will stop your mouth and kisses Beatrice. Like, that's how I've seen every version of Muncha-Doo end. The folio version of the text has Leonato say that line, interrupting Benedict and Beatrice protesting about like, wait, no, actually, no, no, no. Um, he interrupts the two of them telling Beatrice, peace, I will stop your mouth. And then the stage direction is Leonato gives Beatrice to Benedict. So that's a little different.

SPEAKER_00 37:13

It is interesting, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:17

And then also, like, you know, so there's some there's some Shakespeare's that I want to tackle, and then obviously, as a playwright, also I'm like, I want to do the things that I write. And um especially because, you know, living in the sort of classics and fantasy genres is where I tend to land, um, especially because there's so little representation for trans people and for, and then especially for ace and arrow people, um, you know, I there uh there's the trope of the the the non-human casting of like there there's a couple theaters that like I've for myself and for other trans and ace and arrow people that I've worked with, where it's like that we only get cast as non-humans, and it's like so being able to like write what are you saying, yeah. Yeah, it's like we need somebody who who doesn't quite look human. Let's pull the trans person and like ah or or the the one that ace and era people get a lot, and this also like shows up in character robots or aliens, because and yeah, it's or the villains. You see this a lot in aromantic codings is a lot of Disney villains get coded as not being able to experience love. I I think like Scar is one that comes up sometimes as being like in the in the air, like in that aeromid to I know he also has like some parallels to Hamlet because of Lion King, but like even character, like you know, like some of the other characters that get coded in sometimes are like data from Next Generation or even Sherlock Holmes, where it's like they like either they they cannot experience or they don't experience love because they're like and it's it's like but there's but just because you're ace doesn't mean you don't have love. Like they love is a far more expansive term than just one particular we have to continue the population.

SPEAKER_00 39:31

We have to reproduce to continue the population. We have to reproduce to continue the population.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

What other purpose do you have on the planet?

SPEAKER_02 39:39

Right?

SPEAKER_01 39:39

I function can you serve us?

SPEAKER_02 39:42

I like the I forget where I heard it, but someone was like, um, you know, the phrase like it takes a village to raise a child, and it's like it does ace and arrow people and like other parts. It's really hard to it's it's helpful like to be there not taking care of your own child and being there to support the parents around you, you know, to be able to be the one who's like, yeah, I can like help pick up the kid from school, or yeah, I can watch them while you're going and doing a thing, or I can go run the groceries for you, or like what have you. Um, but yeah, so like being able to write um just like canon, fully human. Um, and I write in fantasy, so like they're not always, but I do tend to leave um the characters pretty open. The one note that I get from some of my playwright friends when they read my stuff is like, can you please give us more casting information than the name, the pronouns, and and like their personality? And I'm like, Shakespeare didn't have to.

SPEAKER_01 40:55

No, I won't.

SPEAKER_02 40:58

Like, I'll tell you their relationship so you know that, like, okay, this one is like the parent of this one, so like don't cast them as figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 41:07

Fucking figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 41:10

But yeah, I I'm excited to like do more because um, like I'm a huge fan of like dropout TV, and they have one of the most like openly queer spaces I've ever seen in like entertainment. Um and like obviously we're focused in two different sort of worlds because I'm focused more in like theater and fantasy and scripted, and they're more in like sketch comedy and and TTRPGs, so great, you know. Um and like still like as an ace Aero person, I'm like there's still room to be able to create a space for Ace and Aero stories and ace and arrow artists because I haven't seen that yet. Yes. Um so yeah, and then like everything coming back to the the the theme that I'm circling around with like everything is the you're loved, you're not alone. You're loved, you're not alone, and just continuing to like that's the driving force behind like all the stories that I'm putting out, why I'm specifically focusing on like trans and ace and arrow stories and artists. Um and like every time that I've done like I've produced stories that were focused on trans and ace and arrow characters, like there were tons of people who were not trans or ace or Aero who came up to me going like I felt seen in that show, you know, because I'm not focusing on the identities and the coming out. I'm focusing on like, you know, we're doing an adventure about friendship or like this other thing, and they just happen to be on these identities as part of it. It's recreating what that brave space can look like and being like, no, like there are these are possible and theater being like one of my favorite tools for being able to rehearse and test different life situations, um, is is fantastic because it's like cool, we can, you know, jump into a fantasy world where you know magic exists and everybody's you know, whatever. Um but be you know, okay, we can then look at okay, what are some different expressions of love that you might not have experienced or been aware of that might be super supportive for you? And it's you know, it's it's being able to to test and and and expand and and show and help people like experience like oh okay, it's you know, it doesn't have to be, you know, I I don't have to you know completely. Hold my my friends at arm's distance, it's okay to you know be physically affectionate with them if that's within both of our boundaries, and that's that can be platonic love, and that's fine, and it's it's supportive for both of us, and is what's helpful, you know.

SPEAKER_01 44:15

Yeah, the and the more personal, the more universal.

SPEAKER_02 44:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 44:20

Because at baseline, everybody wants the same thing. Regardless of your experience, it is you are loved, you're not alone. That's literally what you're like. That is an underlying need of every human being, regardless of where you are, where you came from, and what you want. Like everybody wants to feel like they're not alone and that they're loved, they're accepted for who they are. It's really fucking simple, and yet make it so complicated. And it is complex because there's a lot of different ways to feel loved and feel accepted, and you know, and everybody has different boundaries and different needs, but still, um, it's pretty fucking universal. Um, okay, so where can we find information about your roguish goblin brand and uh and uh uh doings?

SPEAKER_02 45:07

Yeah. Um so I have all of the social medias linked on the on the website because I'm on Instagram, YouTube, uh Facebook, Blue Sky. Um so it's at Bexroan.org, which sometimes the auto captions are weird. So B-E-K-S-R-O-EN.org slash R G S is the is the website. Roguish Goblin Stories on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube. I think I had to shorten it on Blue Sky because it was too many characters, so it might be Roguish Goblin Story on Blue Sky.

SPEAKER_01 45:41

Cool.

SPEAKER_02 45:42

Bam. It's a little green goblin with a little blue book is the logo.

SPEAKER_01 45:46

So you've done a lot in a year.

SPEAKER_02 45:52

Yeah, that might be why I'm tired.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

Yeah, maybe you need a break.

SPEAKER_02 45:58

Because then also, you know, also helping with like family and and stuff. And I will say, so like one of the things that I have started doing more and more since we set like those daily uh habits, um, they have continued to evolve.

SPEAKER_01 46:13

Of course, of course.

SPEAKER_02 46:15

But one of the things that I remember we talked a lot about that has continued to like stick in my brain of the things that I'm continuing to work on is like that figuring out more ways to like positively integrate physically, because that was one of the big like blocks that we were working on.

SPEAKER_00 46:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:34

Um, first off, I had I don't have shakes. I had a friend who taught me how to lift weights. So I'm now the strongest I have ever been with the most muscle I've ever had. I'm very proud of myself.

SPEAKER_01 46:48

Um that's been it feels good to be strong, also. It just feels yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

Yeah. Um, so that's been fun. And I've been I've been um dragging the family along with it, which has been so fun. Um, but I also I have integrated two morning and evening habits that have been super, super helpful. I started doing yoga with my mom every night to help wind down, which has been huge.

SPEAKER_00 47:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:19

Um, and I also had a friend uh who taught me how to tap, EFT tapping.

SPEAKER_00 47:25

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 47:26

Um and so I do that every morning, which has also been uh really, really helpful for anxiety management. Great. That's great. Yeah. So I'm noticing more instances where I'm like, oh, this is what it feels like to be fully present in my body. Great.

SPEAKER_01 47:47

Yes, yeah, outward, outward, outward. Um yeah, the stuff that we talk, the habit stuff, it's like there's always a starting place, but then you've got to personalize it for what is going on in your world and what kind of best, sorry, what you respond to best. And also it'll shift, you know, sometimes day to day or like year to year of like what what is best working for you. Um no, I I yeah, I say that you've done a lot in a year because I've s I even talking to you today is a different person that I spoke to like last year, January, right? Um You seem you seem to be very uh there seems to be a lot of purpose uh and confidence within that purpose and kind of like you obviously still have a lot of questions, but those questions seem to be enjoyment about them and you're excited to explore them versus like you know, uh fear of the unknown because the unknown is still based in some kind of like drive that you have, or like there's a um I don't know, not necessarily a goal, but you feel it feels like you feel you're going in the right direction.

SPEAKER_02 49:01

Yes, yeah. And like I am still like the the the thing that I'm working on right now is like getting over the or working through rather you know, get over emotions, but like working through the like taking full ownership of like, yeah, I am running a business. Like that is still very new. Um like is still bringing up a little bit of anxiety, but I'm able to name the anxieties much quicker and being able to like counter them and like journal them out and work through them. Of like, it's it's it's I'm it's I'm still drafting. I'm this is gonna evolve. Like I know where I'm heading, even if I don't know what it's necessarily gonna look like, you know, and just letting go of some of the just trying to brute force it and just being like, no, this is this is the draft that I'm in right now, and then tomorrow is a new draft, and tomorrow is a new draft, and this is what we build to over time.

SPEAKER_01 50:05

Congratulations, I'm very proud of you. It's good work, thanks, yeah. And it it's it yeah, um it's important.

SPEAKER_02 50:18

Yeah, I mean, just talking with some of the students around here of being like, oh my gosh, I would I mean I've told them I because I got to go usher a show at my school recently, which was so fun. Um, but getting to talk with the students and being like, I am making sure that I can pay you, and then I'm gonna be butting out audition calls, and they're like, oh my gosh, that'd be so fun, you know, and like just getting to support, you know, especially especially artists who are not in major cities who like don't have a lot of access to paying work is like super freaking cool.

SPEAKER_01 50:58

Look at what you're doing, man. Look at everything you're doing. It's a lot, and it's no small feat.

SPEAKER_02 51:04

Yeah, yeah. And that is I'm I'm definitely this is definitely training my patience muscles. There are days when I'm certainly not happy about that.

SPEAKER_01 51:15

That's a whole different conversation. That's a whole different podcast episode of what the fuck does it take to run something?

SPEAKER_02 51:21

Um gosh.

SPEAKER_01 51:23

It's so it's oh my god, yeah. Um, well, it was really great to catch up with you. I'm really happy for everything that you're doing and hear that it's going so well. Yeah, yeah. Obviously, I stay updated. I follow your emails and stuff, but uh but it was nice to hear it from your mouth. I'm happy you're happy. Um thank you for hopping on and talking to me. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02 51:46

Thanks for having me. It was good to catch up.

SPEAKER_01 51:50

All right, dude. I will um I'll talk to you later.

SPEAKER_02 51:53

Yeah. So good to talk to you.

SPEAKER_01 51:56

You too, man. Be well.

SPEAKER_02 51:58

Bye.

SPEAKER_01 52:02

I've seen sons when they didn't rise up.